Today, as a support worker in school I dealt with a parent death, a child inconsolable on my lap because they were scared of their parent, a child hitting and kicking staff , and a child with a bruised eye that needs an explanation. This is my normal, a day in a primary school. In … Continue reading A note to our leaders
Yes, my trousers are stuck around my ankles. Not a glamour shot by any means but the reality of my current situation. I have a dodgy back. I've struggled with a weak back from teens. There was a car crash and untreated whiplash at 13 which probably contributed. Then immediately after my wedding I really … Continue reading My back pain journey.
"Hi honey, welcome home. I got the text today" We've run out of money. 'The text' refers to the one from the bank telling us we've reached the end of the overdraft. I get paid on Monday. It's Wednesday evening. My plan had been to get the food shop done tomorrow and then it would … Continue reading (Sometimes) we have nothing
At this point a week ago I was lying in my garden with my youngest relaxing across me. The sun was warm on us and it was a rare quiet moment. It was still holidays but I was preempting my return to work after 6 weeks off. I was being met with the ball of … Continue reading That sinking feeling
*the greatest lie told to women ever. Right? I mean, really. Find me a woman who is successfully 'having it all' (happily parenting little people, working in a fulfilling/successful job, and holding down a positive relationship) and I'll point out that she is either; actually loosing her marbles, a figment of social media or just a … Continue reading Having it all*
What is it that has me regularly fill up with tears? That has me carrying a feeling of dread around inside? That gets me so unbelievably full of rage, that then I'm crying? The state of our public services. I'll be more specific and acknowledge that I'm talking about social care and education. I know … Continue reading It brings me to tears
I share this picture of beautiful flowers because a friend gave them to me today. She felt I needed a reason to smile and I did. She had been with me having a cuppa and I don't think I was really present. I'm not at the moment; easily distracted, vague in my commitments and definitely … Continue reading The sinking feeling of loosing our home
I have realised that I was already on the edge. I was balancing, and not comfortably, holding too much in my life, never quite feeling that I was on top of things. And it was too much. It means that now a challenge has come along I just can't cope. I don't recognise the person … Continue reading Precariously balanced
If we were to talk about money I might say; We don't have enough. I believe that if I were to say this, some people may agree but I don't think really understand what I meant by it. And I believe that others just wouldn't believe me. But generally most people would seem quite uncomfortable … Continue reading Can we talk about money?
"I'm feeling like a big fat ball of anxiety and stress". That's pretty succinct actually. But not good. Definitely not good.