The responses to my last post, both public and private have been overwhelming.
If I ever wonder why I choose to write and publish (apart from the innate need to get my thoughts down ‘on paper’) it’s these reactions. What a wonderful way to feel more positive; to hear that others feel similar, to know people you know and those you don’t offer support, and on top of that to receive compliments on my words.
When I was 12 I talked of being a writer. I even recall my very informed friends telling me my name sounded like an author and so that’s what I was going to be (oh youth!).
There’s no doubt that it’s a two fold approach I take to writing. The first is most definitely the need to write, the need to get the thoughts out of my head, make sense of things and then put it aside. The second is the performer in me (my second career choice once I was 13 was to be an actor, obviously). To share a part of me and allow a response to happen. To give something of myself to others and to sometimes create a positive affect in a stranger; that’s what I loved in acting and I can achieve this with writing.
Right now this is my view:
My lovely husband has taken the kids to the cinema and I’m in a cafe, in the real world. I’m calmly and quietly drinking a cup of tea with no demands being made of me and listening to strangers chatting away. Bliss.
Yesterday’s post was written some what differently. I was in the kitchen (it’s the weekend in the home of a family of 5 so just imagine the mess). I was cooking tea and the kids were otherwise engaged for 20 minutes. I had struggled through the day, well week really, and I needed to write. Any parent out there will know; you have to grab the moments because otherwise you’ll never get anything done.
I typed away whilst grating cheese, stirring baked beans, making a salad and checking the jacket potatoes. Every few minutes I was calling (shouting) out a reply to various demands or questions from the other room. I was picking up the pile of clean washing that had been tipped onto the floor, I was staring at the dishwasher that needed emptying and repteadly contemplating doing it (I didn’t). Most importantly I prioritised writing and without editing I hit ‘publish’.
I ate tea with my family feeling a little calmer.
The responses I have then received have lightened my mood, made me feel appreciated for something other than mothering or working. And I don’t feel alone in yesterday’s feelings.
Thank you x
p.s thanks to my husband for stepping up to my tears and rewarding me with a break
p.p.s here’s to female chat. Nearly 4 hrs of that happened last night. Thanks Jen.