We just had our 11th wedding anniversary. As his gift to me my husband arranged a house party because he knows I love to host a good old shindig. He does not so much enjoy hosting, so this was a pretty big gift on his part.
Of course we have 3 kids and do not possess access to childcare for such an affair so our house party = a party for everyone round ours; cue 22 kids of varying ages! Even I was a little concerned this time round, the kids have grown in size, there’s more of them, but we went for it and it worked.
I reckon this event said a lot about us as a couple.
Firstly it was 11 years of marriage celebrated. Every guest commented “so 10 years!, wow, congrats”. No, not 10, 11. It is not a conventional number of years to make a fuss of, but actually, last year I reckon was a little tougher in our world and perhaps didn’t feel as celebratory. So, to be here together, today, another year on, and feeling good together was worth the party.
Secondly; who throws a party when it means that many children?! I mean how are the adults meant to have a good time? What’s the point? Well, just because we’re parents of 3, a bit skint, and generally tired, it feels even more vital to do what is important to us, what we enjoy, what we would do if we weren’t parents. Enjoying drinks with friends brings good feelings.
So, we put all the kids in the front room with films and a lot of popcorn and it seemed to work. Yes, they had a (very) late night but it’s the summer holidays and after the amount of prosecco consumed who cares. We could have had a date night, arranged friends to babysit, headed off for a meal. But so often the expectation for it to go well is soooooo huge and actually we end up discussing the kids or making mundane plans for the weeks to come.
So, Thank you husband for 11 years of marriage (17 years of you and me). Thanks for giving me what you don’t find as easy. Thanks for acknowledging, with me, that we are still people in a relationship and not just ‘mum and dad’.